Welcome to Jurassic World

Pretty Scientist Lady: “We have our first genetically modified hybrid.”

Chris Pratt: “I’m sorry, come again?”

PSL: “Well, we’re a theme park, right? Not a wildlife preserve. Our customers expect thrill rides, big production shows. The whole enchilada.”

CP: “And?”

PSL: “And we were having trouble with the T-Rex. It wasn’t smart enough to train, and its arms were too small to hold the t-shirt cannon for the afternoon show we’d written for the kids to watch while their parents were sucking down $15 margaritas. ”

CP: “…”

PSL: “So we engineered some nice long arms and hands with opposable thumbs so it could work the trigger, then grafted in a velociraptor brain so it could work with our animal trainers. Boom, problem solved.”

CP: “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!”

PSL: “It’s really an amazing scientific achievement.”

CP: “You know what? I’m out. I’m going back to working with a psychotic, heavily armed raccoon. Here, keep the vest.”

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